Change Sometimes

THE CLOCK TICS ON AS DAY COMES TO AN END

AWAKE THE NEXT DAY TO DO IT ALL AGAIN

CHANGE IS COMING IT COURSES THROUGH MY MIND

LEAVING TRACES OF PROMISE OR MINE OWN DEMISE

WHAT ITLL BE, CAN I CONTROL THE OUTCOME

IS IT WORTH ATTEMPTING TO OVERCOME

THE CURRENT STATE OF LIVING FOR NOTHING

DANGEROUSLY FOSTERS A HOPE FOR SOMETHING

IT HAS TO COME, A CHANGE, A GREAT SHIFT

TO SECURE MORE YEARS, HOPING IT’S BLISS

WHAT IS THIS CHANGE THAT I FEEL

SWELLING IN MY BODY THROUGHOUT THE LAST YEAR

TEMPTATION IS FLEETING AS IS THE HOPE

THAT THE OUTCOME FAVORS A NEGATIVE SCOPE

A PARTNER, A FRIEND, ONE OF GOOD MERIT

I FEAR IS THE ONLY VARIABLE TO HELP THIS

LET IT BE A DAY THAT I’LL REMEMBER

EITHER I’LL TRANSEND THIS CURRENT USELESS ENDEVEOR

OR ILL SUCCUMB TO MY GROWING ACCEPTANCE ITS OVER

A PRODUCT OF ALLOWING INFLUENCE TO GROW COLDER

MAYBE ILL BE SAVED TO LIVE AND LOVE ANOTHER DAY

OR MAYBE ILL GIVE UP AND END THIS LIFE OF IDLE PLAY

ONE OR THE OTHER, I CARE NOT WHICH ONE

AS LONG AS THE CURRENT STATE LIVING IS DONE

RANDY STURRIDGE

Precious Commodities

Drawn and Edited by:  Randy Sturridge

Magnificent lights erupt lighting night sky

The crowd responds with hackles and jeers

A fifteen minute segment every year on this day

Townspeople and young folk cheer and carry on

Innocence envelopes their frail souls keeping out dangers

Parents with fortified presence steer others from a perimeter

Little tyke and his buddies are being watched closely

Daddy catches a glimpse of the works here and there

But he knows that the precious commodities are the reason he is there

Year after year the cheers and the festivals taunt an on-looker

He chooses not to watch the light show but instead watch the tykes Father

This Daddy will never experience the torment of being too fire sky drawn

To learn the cold hard truth that the world can steal more than thought possible

The onlooker watches the finale as tears flow from his yellow somber eyes

This onlooker never got a second chance to make it right a second time

The little tyke's Daddy picks him up, a quick spin, and turns to leave

The onlooker brings the bottle from his mouth and catches the eyes of the Father

A nod from one and tears from another, remembering losing a daughter and her brother

The Father passes without a word, as the onlooker swiftly opens his mouth inserts the gun and pulls the trigger

No more dreams or second chances, all it takes is ten seconds to destroy three lives

Randy Sturridge

Beautiful Monster

Drawn and Edited by:  Randy Sturridge

Reaching and stretching, harder I try. 

Slowly, but surely,the farther I slide.

Chainsaws and bullets, I want you to die. 

Beautiful monster that lives inside.

Happy you make me, such a beautiful peak. 

Though never the permanent state that I seek.

Upward you take me, an invincible high. 

Beautiful monster, dare me to die...

Grenades and razors, and diesel fire. 

Beautiful monster, I slowly expire.

Come Back To Me

Give me a name, tell me I'm going to travel

Give me a purpose, so I don't unravel

The doors of direction have shut themselves tight

Hoping to secure happiness without having to fight

We begin, We end, We will never start again

A soul, nostalgic soul, I have it out on an errand

Return to me, My girl, Come and make it Better

Come back to me, lift me, light, a perfect feather

I need your love, it makes me okay to be

Gives me Purpose, purpose that I need

Without your face, your care, your touch

Life is nothing, patches of days so rough

We will never be together now that its over

We are a child in the patch looking for four leaf clovers

Alwaying wanting but never being able to embrace

The hope and happiness of living in past days

I am lost and you are free where ever did you go when you left me

My bed is empty, what about yours? Shadowy lives of hopeful discord

Come back to me, lift me, light, a day with a perfect feather

Come back to me, to live for hope or hell, just make it better.

Randy Sturridge

Skinned Sin

written by: heidi chester

Here you are, down on your knees again.
Crawling and bleeding and ripping skin.
You're dying but trying to breathe again.
But you’re smothered and covered, soaked in your sin.

You're pleading and screaming all apologies.
Your chanting becomes ranting and makes no sense to me. 
While you're reaching your screeching at me to see-
That it isn't yours, there is no you, there is only me.
<br>



Here I am, down on my knees again.
Crawling and bleeding and shredding skin.
I'm dying but trying to breathe again.
Drowning and sinking inside my sin.

There is no you, there is no me, there is nothing here. 
There is no love, there is no hate, there is no fear.
Just silent screams, and empty dreams for no one to hear,
Bloody tears, no memories, souls far from clear.

Here we are, down on our knees again.
Sinking, no wallowing inside our sins.
We're crawling and bleeding just to breathe again.
Locked inside ourselves, in this private hell, stuck inside our skin.

Here we are down on our knees again...

No Release

Written by: By: Heidi Chester 8/26/2011

My eyes are open and instinct tells me I breathe.

Though I cannot be certain, I only feel it when I bleed.

My heart skips a beat, then pounds in my chest.

One more reminder, one more piece of me near death.

I have grown empty, and I do not feel distress.

There is no confusion, just inside a bloody mess.

There is nothing that can hurt me, so numb I feel no pain.

I tear myself wide open, searching for life inside my veins.

But I find nothing, no freedom, no release.

I cannot even feel remorse, for the lack of inner peace

I do not long or love, miss or wonder, nor seek the reasons why

I do not fear that I do not know just how I am alive.

I do not ask if it will end, or somehow disappear.

I won't survive if feeling returns. No, I much prefer it here.

Beautiful Monstrosity

I

Love to provide but not a soul wants

The compassionate nature the hideous boy flaunts

He is precious and so very sincere

Opening the door and speaking so clear

Conduct of kings with love so immense

Not a woman can stay and endure his features

A book burned and blackened contains loveliness with

Refraining from the depression the boy determined to win

He assures himself that all will be sound

With love to give he will find his dove

Aghast though he is his soul sours above

II

The ugly man hides his face by a thick beard

Drunk and confused his mind aggrieved unclear

Just enough cash to buy a cheap whore

Corner of Ridgewood he can afford

Love love love fuck the white dove

A tired crow follows begrudged

Stay in the shadows the ugly man resents

His face of unique characteristics unkempt

Blackened the days have passed with  neglect

From loves excoriating cruel crawled years  

Easy it is to hunt down a whore

A moments reprieve from love’s torturous  sword

III

The old unsightly man now vagrant and beggar

never having found love's beautiful nectar

The emotional burden his soul entertained

For decades upon decades his heart

so pained

Now Bitter and Hateful the old ugly man is plagued

With dreams of love that the ugly boy had slain

 

 Death round the corner for the ugly old man

Pondering memories of love in his hands

Never obtained but dreamed he did

That someone in the world had love for him

Resigned to defeat he finally sees

That god doesn’t bless monstrosities

Death takes the man as he slumbers and dreams

Awaiting a love that will never be. 

randy sturridge

I Miss You

Today I thought of you

And how We use to use

Today I thought of you

And all you use to do

Today I cried out loud

I violated my vows

Protect you I had said

My soul is filled with dread.

This Eve I thought of you

And your fear of spiders to

This Eve I thought of you

With the silly way you chewed

Tonight you consume my mind

They say it will ease in time

My Love I miss you so

Why did you have go?

I always sing our song

Hoping that I'm wrong

Maybe you'll Appear

Ease this aching fear

I lay in our sweet bed

My love my love your'e dead

My heart it misses your touch

I love you so very much

I drift on off to sleep

Where you and I always meet

Holding hands we retreat

To the fabric of my dreams.

The Hand Crafted Soldier

Randy Sturridge

The hand crafted soldier propped up on the mantle is desolate inside


A thought will never pass through the hollow canvas of his eyes


Wars being fought while the distraught widows collapse at rueful news


Grief stricken sisters with sparkling teared eyes receive savage clues


A soldier has passed amongst his comrades with fear in his voice


Idly standing years before never really having a choice


The hand crafted solder propped up on the mantle doesn't get to say


The soldiers of passing wane good morrow as they ascend to heaven


We commandeer the fortunes and fears of future branded tyrants


Honoring bravery seems so savery if it were conveyed


The hand crafted soldier propped up on the mantle shakes his head in pity


We play the game of offering sweet lives ensuring only confusion


Lies beholden the shadows of congress and the moors of black leaders


Walking so carefully in the darkness to ensure they are safely  shaded


The dogs of death wag their swift tails marking those so jaded


The hand crafted soldier propped up on the mantle salutes his fallen boys


Our country is playing in the large sandbox and soldiers are their toys


Moving the pieces of those they defeated and shuffling off lost hopes


Why don't we account for those in doubt as their voices chimed in votes


Is it not worth it to question the motive of the decisions that bind


The boys down the road now full grown in size are running with a gun


Running the rapids of America rivers shifted by great damns


The times are wicked as are the decisions made by government hands


The hand crafted soldier propped up on the mantle will see you all in hell


Striking the chord as lively as ever for the minions descend in hell


The judgement is now upon your good favor and it is time for dinner


The hand crafted soldier propped up on the mantle rings the dinner bell


The hand crafted soldier is smiling upon us in heaven and in hell.