No Release

Written by: By: Heidi Chester 8/26/2011

My eyes are open and instinct tells me I breathe.

Though I cannot be certain, I only feel it when I bleed.

My heart skips a beat, then pounds in my chest.

One more reminder, one more piece of me near death.

I have grown empty, and I do not feel distress.

There is no confusion, just inside a bloody mess.

There is nothing that can hurt me, so numb I feel no pain.

I tear myself wide open, searching for life inside my veins.

But I find nothing, no freedom, no release.

I cannot even feel remorse, for the lack of inner peace

I do not long or love, miss or wonder, nor seek the reasons why

I do not fear that I do not know just how I am alive.

I do not ask if it will end, or somehow disappear.

I won't survive if feeling returns. No, I much prefer it here.