Change Sometimes

THE CLOCK TICS ON AS DAY COMES TO AN END

AWAKE THE NEXT DAY TO DO IT ALL AGAIN

CHANGE IS COMING IT COURSES THROUGH MY MIND

LEAVING TRACES OF PROMISE OR MINE OWN DEMISE

WHAT ITLL BE, CAN I CONTROL THE OUTCOME

IS IT WORTH ATTEMPTING TO OVERCOME

THE CURRENT STATE OF LIVING FOR NOTHING

DANGEROUSLY FOSTERS A HOPE FOR SOMETHING

IT HAS TO COME, A CHANGE, A GREAT SHIFT

TO SECURE MORE YEARS, HOPING IT’S BLISS

WHAT IS THIS CHANGE THAT I FEEL

SWELLING IN MY BODY THROUGHOUT THE LAST YEAR

TEMPTATION IS FLEETING AS IS THE HOPE

THAT THE OUTCOME FAVORS A NEGATIVE SCOPE

A PARTNER, A FRIEND, ONE OF GOOD MERIT

I FEAR IS THE ONLY VARIABLE TO HELP THIS

LET IT BE A DAY THAT I’LL REMEMBER

EITHER I’LL TRANSEND THIS CURRENT USELESS ENDEVEOR

OR ILL SUCCUMB TO MY GROWING ACCEPTANCE ITS OVER

A PRODUCT OF ALLOWING INFLUENCE TO GROW COLDER

MAYBE ILL BE SAVED TO LIVE AND LOVE ANOTHER DAY

OR MAYBE ILL GIVE UP AND END THIS LIFE OF IDLE PLAY

ONE OR THE OTHER, I CARE NOT WHICH ONE

AS LONG AS THE CURRENT STATE LIVING IS DONE

RANDY STURRIDGE

Precious Commodities

Drawn and Edited by:  Randy Sturridge

Magnificent lights erupt lighting night sky

The crowd responds with hackles and jeers

A fifteen minute segment every year on this day

Townspeople and young folk cheer and carry on

Innocence envelopes their frail souls keeping out dangers

Parents with fortified presence steer others from a perimeter

Little tyke and his buddies are being watched closely

Daddy catches a glimpse of the works here and there

But he knows that the precious commodities are the reason he is there

Year after year the cheers and the festivals taunt an on-looker

He chooses not to watch the light show but instead watch the tykes Father

This Daddy will never experience the torment of being too fire sky drawn

To learn the cold hard truth that the world can steal more than thought possible

The onlooker watches the finale as tears flow from his yellow somber eyes

This onlooker never got a second chance to make it right a second time

The little tyke's Daddy picks him up, a quick spin, and turns to leave

The onlooker brings the bottle from his mouth and catches the eyes of the Father

A nod from one and tears from another, remembering losing a daughter and her brother

The Father passes without a word, as the onlooker swiftly opens his mouth inserts the gun and pulls the trigger

No more dreams or second chances, all it takes is ten seconds to destroy three lives

Randy Sturridge

Trapped Awake

Know what it’s like to be trapped awake?

For days on end, hallucinate.

An immense strain upon the body

No falling asleep instead passing out

So damned exhausted one can’t count

Thoughts so jumbled as one mumbles

Can’t make sense of one’s own mind

Speaking to oneself, in search of a sign

Paranoid by now, covering all tracks

Forgetting by this time that sleep one so lacks

Beautiful Monster

Drawn and Edited by:  Randy Sturridge

Reaching and stretching, harder I try. 

Slowly, but surely,the farther I slide.

Chainsaws and bullets, I want you to die. 

Beautiful monster that lives inside.

Happy you make me, such a beautiful peak. 

Though never the permanent state that I seek.

Upward you take me, an invincible high. 

Beautiful monster, dare me to die...

Grenades and razors, and diesel fire. 

Beautiful monster, I slowly expire.

Toys Asunder

Drawn and Edited by: Randy Sturridge

Rapid descent unmasking tyrants

Boys of darkness cackle irrelevance

Pin cushions, broken dolls erase

Child play, on sunny fun filled days

Shadows deep with purple thick heat

Strengthening evil as all the good recedes

Cloaked in corners, drones of dirt

Mismanaged jigsaw, cork torn skirts

Thunder claps lightning, spider lit sky

Shrieking pointed ringing, heaven and hell collide

Swirl of grandiose masterful plans

Holding so close dangling mortals in hand

Psycho lured dwelling that emboss the weak

Raise them by flesh to rip apart and cleave

Randy Sturridge 

Periods of Transcendence

Unique waves of discord perpetuate the norm that has become accepted

Fostered hope at moments in time clinging to periods of transcendence

The increasing constraints of bed and sleep deter the creature desires

To succumb with nothing but hope in something draws the shades further

Revolution for just causes begs a leader who admonishes sheltered not permitted

Who is our leader, the soul to lift us up upon high horses

We are the fallen, the bed ridden depressed, knowing only how to please

Giving our lives for others less ourselves will end in self-sacrifice

Conditioned throughout depressed societal flaws render us colorless

Shells of men and woman fragmented to whole thoughts and half hopes

We shall not be free, with liberty non-existence as production is a fallacy

Leader we wait for arduous times but until then I will pity myself  and sit in shadows

Randy Sturridge

Inner Wicked: Response to Inner Beauty

Artist: Randy Sturridge
Reflection From Inner Beauty

A man whose insides match not the exterior

Not the typical mismanaged posterior

This man not that man is as well to know

As any other who comes and then goes

Quite remarkable features that draw them in

Like flies to the light a byproduct of sin

Such fine approach this wicked man gives

Reflected the opposite inner being lives

Inner beauty forever a thought

Used inversely to advantage the lot

Inner beauty must entertain

That just as it is, an opposites in range

Inner horror wakes him in bed

Talks to his thoughts while clutching his head

Inner horror has many a means

In convincing this man to do dreadful things

Now in time the man resigns

He adapts to the horror that once tapped at the door

He now is wicked danger and death

Each day he baits and blends with the rest

He always secures a little treasure

For outside his features draw in his pleasures

Into the night the inner horror plays

With his victims distraught his exterior slays

Laying in bed the attractive man smiles

Beautiful features so wickedly styled.

Randy Sturridge

Rusty Devices

Deduct a difference embrace a change

Position a splint between insanity and sane

Rusty devices just at arms reach

Tools to separate my skin from me

Dig into flesh to release the poison

Breathe of euphoria with senses so heightened

Sick with myself and entirely down

Seeking happiness from anyone around

Structure is gone disorder now lurks

The mis-managed thoughts brings me to my knees

Pride abolished by misunderstood motives

Resulting in the same outcome beholden

Crave my life that allows me to see

The positive informative useful employee

A life all alone with someone at home

Succumbing to pain that propels the unknown

Hope remains but I am defeated

I need someone else to hold me when weeping

I can’t explain the way I feel

Without conveying it all so unclear

Travel back in time…just hit reset

Undue all the fighting, regrets lets forget

I just want happiness more than any other thing

Frantically hoping to be saved by my queen

How do I change when my soul is not well

I’ve already resigned that my existence is hell

The easy solution ever so present

Just end it all by accepting a death sentence

Wrap me in a blanket and ill weep in joy

That you’ve saved me and rebirthed life’s playful noise

For I am blind, deaf and depressed

Waiting on love’s beautiful kiss

I’ve stomped it out living like a ghoul

Please help me I can’t help myself no more

I don’t want to be remembered for being down

I instead want to be saved and make everyone proud.

randy sturridge

Miserably Me

What’s the point of continuing on

When dying feels like such a beautiful song

It will lift the fog that holds these empty days

Allowing, maybe, a smile to grace my face

long, heavy thoughts drain my strength

depression beyond control yesterday and today

like a patient I am slave to a bed in one place

without even strength to window gaze

I want it to end this life of suffering

Hoping all the time to just more than nothing

Nothing, never just impossible feelings

That transcend beyond my physical dwelling

The only solution that I continue to see

Is To end this life that is miserably me

Randy Sturridge

Beautiful Monstrosity

I

Love to provide but not a soul wants

The compassionate nature the hideous boy flaunts

He is precious and so very sincere

Opening the door and speaking so clear

Conduct of kings with love so immense

Not a woman can stay and endure his features

A book burned and blackened contains loveliness with

Refraining from the depression the boy determined to win

He assures himself that all will be sound

With love to give he will find his dove

Aghast though he is his soul sours above

II

The ugly man hides his face by a thick beard

Drunk and confused his mind aggrieved unclear

Just enough cash to buy a cheap whore

Corner of Ridgewood he can afford

Love love love fuck the white dove

A tired crow follows begrudged

Stay in the shadows the ugly man resents

His face of unique characteristics unkempt

Blackened the days have passed with  neglect

From loves excoriating cruel crawled years  

Easy it is to hunt down a whore

A moments reprieve from love’s torturous  sword

III

The old unsightly man now vagrant and beggar

never having found love's beautiful nectar

The emotional burden his soul entertained

For decades upon decades his heart

so pained

Now Bitter and Hateful the old ugly man is plagued

With dreams of love that the ugly boy had slain

 

 Death round the corner for the ugly old man

Pondering memories of love in his hands

Never obtained but dreamed he did

That someone in the world had love for him

Resigned to defeat he finally sees

That god doesn’t bless monstrosities

Death takes the man as he slumbers and dreams

Awaiting a love that will never be. 

randy sturridge

I Miss You

Today I thought of you

And how We use to use

Today I thought of you

And all you use to do

Today I cried out loud

I violated my vows

Protect you I had said

My soul is filled with dread.

This Eve I thought of you

And your fear of spiders to

This Eve I thought of you

With the silly way you chewed

Tonight you consume my mind

They say it will ease in time

My Love I miss you so

Why did you have go?

I always sing our song

Hoping that I'm wrong

Maybe you'll Appear

Ease this aching fear

I lay in our sweet bed

My love my love your'e dead

My heart it misses your touch

I love you so very much

I drift on off to sleep

Where you and I always meet

Holding hands we retreat

To the fabric of my dreams.