Thursday, June 23, 2011

Malevolent Love

Love is supple yet firm driving passions to burn

It’s the breathtaking and splendid leaving emotions blended

Love’s influence is grand with a grip like quicksand

It heaves at one’s sentiment with no vacancy left to rent

It swallows one’s mind darkening all of your time

Love razes one’s essence leaving only a shell in remembrance

We fall in the wake and tremble at its quake

We must come to understand that Love has dual hands

Be cautious if wandering for Love’s might is laundering

It may remain all eternity whilst plaguing uncertainty

Tread gently now dear fellow and fear Love’s excruciating bellow. 


Fred said...

Randy, another good piece. Very true the sentiments as well. I really like how you took the sentiment and weaved the entire work around it. Very creatively done:)

Anonymous said...

Thank you sir your feedback is greatly appreciated. I only wish I could write when I want to. I have come to understand that I can only write at fleeting moments. If I Dont put it down when it crashes into me it disappears. As though I am propelled by some shard of dark creativity that takes control and forces it out. Immediately afterwards I will read the poem and it is like I didnt even write it. MYSTERIOUS

Anonymous said...

I had no idea... It's beautiful.

Stephen Berer said...

Hi Randy.
Good insights and some nice riffs.
I would like to make a couple of suggestions. You might want to look at the changing personal pronouns: third person (it), mostly, but then "you" and "we" sometimes appear, for no clear reason. If you're going to move thru personal pronouns, I would suggest it be for a specific purpose. I don't see a purpose here.

Also, you sometimes seem to be driven more by rhyme than the quality of your images or ideas. This is where blood, sweat, and tears follows up on inspiration. What you have is inspired, but I think you can make it an even better poem, with some hard work.

--Steve Berer

Randy Sturridge said...

Apologies sir that I have taken this long to reply to your comment. I apologize for the conflict in personal pronouns within my poem. I am in the process of re-evaluating my time so as to not have these mistakes re-occur.

I have began integrating my art into the site and am continuing to research social media, networking, site integration etc...Thank you for your feedback.