Thirst 

as it goes I sit here idly

fulfilling my end, yet feeling quite empty

Most would say I'm responsible enough

Security intact, knows what to do

I don't understand why I'm so troubled

Comparable sure to the ol average joe

Just making a living with little unknowns

Trying to figure if Im actually complete

or have I resigned to blend with the masses

Once upon a time I thrived to excel

At work, in school, at every thing hell

I know for a fact I've stopped craving life

By that I mean theres no thirst left inside

Why did it leave and where did it go

Will it return and how do I know

It is normal and is this a phase

I really do hope it comes back some day.

Randy Sturridge

My Little Knobby Knees

A day like any other, a day ill never forget

You are buckled in, little knobby knees

Elmo on your left and a window to your right

I see you, I know you, I love you

Those big brown eyes find me, standing in the lot

My heart is beating, my thoughts all over

You are buckled in, with your toys packed away

A day like any other, A day I feared would come

You are my girl, my happiness and my smile

You are buckled in and hands wave good bye

Hugs to some, words for others, but you…

I tell you I see you later, and time to go on ride

I know you don’t understand, I am here right now

I give you kisses and also elmo, touch your hair and face

I back on down and wave to you…Hi, do you see

I hear the Uhail roar to life, My eyes are watching you

I crane my neck and move about…hi burger

Soon your face is out of view, you are moving on

I watch the truck until its gone, with you buckled in

My heart and soul cry in silence, tears the only clue

My niece, my treasure, my little Ari Ann

Please remember me…however long it takes

I will be at the door one day, to see that sunshine face

Please burger.., I wish I could explain

I would never leave lone, never in this life

My God this hurts so bad inside…

Remember my face and the love we shared

29 months and 5 days. You were the spark that brought me back

Stay close to mommy and daddy on your adventure all brand new

Don’t forget Uncle Randy, My face and love for you

I swear to you baby girl, I’ll be there your whole life

You will open the front door and see me seeing you.

I love you Ari-Ann Carmean with everything that I am. I am so, so sorry that we will not be able to play “ready, Ready,” “Up-Down” “Elephant,” “Hide and Seek,” and so many more...No more Yo Gabba Gabba, and feeding elmo for a while. Just keep me fresh in that little head. I will skype you whenever I can. I will come visit as soon as humanly possible. I love you little girl. You’re a cool dude, and very funny funny.

I love you.

Randy

When Right and Left Intertwine

Along the road there comes a time

When right and left intertwine

All the people in their cars

Faceless stares blank as dolls

Routine takes hold of lives

Auto pilot, coast on by

Chances lost doors are closed

Risk averted as time goes

Along this road a time will come

When all the people see their numb

Thoughts of life will flood their minds

Hopefully they shall find

That when right and left intertwine

Risk and chance is so divine

Be the one who lives for life

Not afraid to roll the dice

Happiness is said to be

Man's best chance at being free

So when the time comes on by

Take some chances and you shall fly.

Randy Sturridge

For All Time

Unlike any other

A night for all time

Cherished in memory

Reliving every second

Over...again and again

Unequivocal romance

electric passions

rekindled every day

A memory for all time

Remembering your grace

sensational presence

Mesmerizing gaze

Lives forever in me

Unlike any other

A night for all time

Alive inside of me

Revisited over and again

Your love will never die.

Change Sometimes

THE CLOCK TICS ON AS DAY COMES TO AN END

AWAKE THE NEXT DAY TO DO IT ALL AGAIN

CHANGE IS COMING IT COURSES THROUGH MY MIND

LEAVING TRACES OF PROMISE OR MINE OWN DEMISE

WHAT ITLL BE, CAN I CONTROL THE OUTCOME

IS IT WORTH ATTEMPTING TO OVERCOME

THE CURRENT STATE OF LIVING FOR NOTHING

DANGEROUSLY FOSTERS A HOPE FOR SOMETHING

IT HAS TO COME, A CHANGE, A GREAT SHIFT

TO SECURE MORE YEARS, HOPING IT’S BLISS

WHAT IS THIS CHANGE THAT I FEEL

SWELLING IN MY BODY THROUGHOUT THE LAST YEAR

TEMPTATION IS FLEETING AS IS THE HOPE

THAT THE OUTCOME FAVORS A NEGATIVE SCOPE

A PARTNER, A FRIEND, ONE OF GOOD MERIT

I FEAR IS THE ONLY VARIABLE TO HELP THIS

LET IT BE A DAY THAT I’LL REMEMBER

EITHER I’LL TRANSEND THIS CURRENT USELESS ENDEVEOR

OR ILL SUCCUMB TO MY GROWING ACCEPTANCE ITS OVER

A PRODUCT OF ALLOWING INFLUENCE TO GROW COLDER

MAYBE ILL BE SAVED TO LIVE AND LOVE ANOTHER DAY

OR MAYBE ILL GIVE UP AND END THIS LIFE OF IDLE PLAY

ONE OR THE OTHER, I CARE NOT WHICH ONE

AS LONG AS THE CURRENT STATE LIVING IS DONE

RANDY STURRIDGE

Precious Commodities

Drawn and Edited by:  Randy Sturridge

Magnificent lights erupt lighting night sky

The crowd responds with hackles and jeers

A fifteen minute segment every year on this day

Townspeople and young folk cheer and carry on

Innocence envelopes their frail souls keeping out dangers

Parents with fortified presence steer others from a perimeter

Little tyke and his buddies are being watched closely

Daddy catches a glimpse of the works here and there

But he knows that the precious commodities are the reason he is there

Year after year the cheers and the festivals taunt an on-looker

He chooses not to watch the light show but instead watch the tykes Father

This Daddy will never experience the torment of being too fire sky drawn

To learn the cold hard truth that the world can steal more than thought possible

The onlooker watches the finale as tears flow from his yellow somber eyes

This onlooker never got a second chance to make it right a second time

The little tyke's Daddy picks him up, a quick spin, and turns to leave

The onlooker brings the bottle from his mouth and catches the eyes of the Father

A nod from one and tears from another, remembering losing a daughter and her brother

The Father passes without a word, as the onlooker swiftly opens his mouth inserts the gun and pulls the trigger

No more dreams or second chances, all it takes is ten seconds to destroy three lives

Randy Sturridge

The Merit of Man

Drawn and Edited by:  Randy Sturridge

Once upon a time we all walked the lands

searching with hope to one day understand

The purposeful presence that bring about questions

Leading intellectuals to philosophize suggestions

Trial and error contract the scopes of limits

producing bi-products of various new secrets and sentiments 

Generations anew stretch further their reach

hypothesizing theories with a testament in each

Time doth pass as do great thinkers 

Leaving in their wake students and preachers

Reeling within the the absolute unknowns

allowing those forthcoming to secure similar tones

A history is built by the merit of man

Extending his passions to wake settled lands

We are a people of magnificient essence

Both in shape, stature, mentality and reference  

With each procession in lineage and line

We approach with courage in answering the unknown

Take time to appreciate your dear fellow man

For without man's good nature this world is damned. 

Randy Sturridge

Men of Magnitude

Marvel ideas with novel contributions

Well thought to be less like retribution

Factoring constructs all range considered

Fashioned, unequivocal, and then so settled

Consider new heights still undiscovered

Remember lost memories of forgotten brothers

Honest investment in men of magnitude

Allowing disruption of conveyance that convolutes

Hearing long cries of a different tune

Not of sad souls but of happiness renewed

Hands join arms and we all stand as one

Representing forgotten voices of past loved songs

Let us be the men we once were

On top of high mountains we are reborn. 

Randy Sturridge

Love Regardless

A perpetuating irritation that holds only dead ends

uncontrollable emotions surmount

The strength to exhibit self omni - paramount

The bi-product of such misguided love

Anger that fickels and boils beyond 

strength of the worth of remembering the cause

Love misguided with heavy stress and great fear

The fear that i am not the man you reverred

I tell you once, now and forever

I love your nature that you love most 

The feeling of being free from fall hopes

We are two loves that gravely love each other

yet fight and explode for our care for another

communication eludes the reason

The could have preserved the thought and the care

We must fix this vessel that tears at our sails.

Randy Sturridge

Set Wave Seven

Sweet, sensational force

Headwind stinging skin

Swell by swell a set on high

Seven counts and she builds the horizon

Wait! I stop paddling and erect myself

Vision peaks over number six

It’s all wrong but she is massive

A lion among wolves, I hear her

Fleeting and curious she takes new aim

Boardwalk

Broken wings under cold boardwalk

Terrible pain fills the night

A homeless vagrant observes death

Terrible waves rattle the structure

Birds of sunshine take eternal rest 

Leaving boardwalk graves and restless wanderers

Love for a Pretty Girl

A queen, a gem, a rare artifact I possess

Savored, worshipped, for purposes unsaid

Protect sacred thoughts just in case

Should it arrive, the moment I’m erased?

Never quite losing but I find myself floored

With thoughts and fears of hearing closed doors

Voices of Love

Drawn and Edited by: Randy Sturridge

Beautiful something my hand’s dare hold

So fragile, yet powerful, warm yet cold

Beautiful something bring life unto me

Satisfying, justifying, my nerves set free

Grown into me, become my purpose

Giving reason for living with emotions surfaced

Trapped Awake

Know what it’s like to be trapped awake?

For days on end, hallucinate.

An immense strain upon the body

No falling asleep instead passing out

So damned exhausted one can’t count

Thoughts so jumbled as one mumbles

Can’t make sense of one’s own mind

Speaking to oneself, in search of a sign

Paranoid by now, covering all tracks

Forgetting by this time that sleep one so lacks

Beautiful Monster

Drawn and Edited by:  Randy Sturridge

Reaching and stretching, harder I try. 

Slowly, but surely,the farther I slide.

Chainsaws and bullets, I want you to die. 

Beautiful monster that lives inside.

Happy you make me, such a beautiful peak. 

Though never the permanent state that I seek.

Upward you take me, an invincible high. 

Beautiful monster, dare me to die...

Grenades and razors, and diesel fire. 

Beautiful monster, I slowly expire.

Those Who Mumble

Edited by:  Randy Sturridge

On days of respite we should so praise

The wrong decisions that are continually made

Why the conflict in positive grants

When so many kindred characters lose their stance

Times of strife bring about life

Preparing the gauntlet to restructure time

99 Degrees

Delirium Sets in consider it sin

Thirty minutes time and Ill be swimming again

Drivin with white knuckles

Cigarette Smoke Constant

Mr are you okay

Thanks for asking but no not today

Pissed off Putt me on a cross

For One Another

Drawn and Edited by: Randy Sturridge

A gift from one to another

Is not but everything that encourages others

The focus of life on distant shores subsides

Absolutes give way as molecules collide

Pretty Pretty Pretty Pretty

love .
it's the one thing that differentiates our species among the rest.

we grow up knowing that one day we will love. 

everyone wants love and to be loved.

it's the one thing every single human on the face of the earth,of all mankind’s history,its what they all longed for at least once in their life.

& I’m sick of it.

 
I’m not looking for love anymore.

I’m looking for someone 
who’s not looking for love in the least.

 
& if that’s you then I’m looking for you
&when i find you,

 
we're probably gonna get what’s coming to us;

which is inevitably & ironically:
love.

                                 -a martian .

Lovers

Whispering winds dance delightfully this eve

Setting the mood for two lovers to give

Carnal desires propelled in unison

Hesitation defeated as passions burn bright

Resistance futile as bodies intertwine

Exploring new corners and secret places

Soft touch, then rough, just enough

Arched for pleasure, leverage finds treasure

Slow, so firm, hard pressed as one

Thick air, heavy breathe, sweat

Sweet release, conquered, subsiding seas

Gazing into one another

Two lovers, lay back and watch the stars.

Randy sturridge

id.

Art by: Dickie Gonzo

my disillusioned will to live

is challenged by my medicine

i chose to take i fought to get

i've gotta have, refuse to quit

dyslexic minds all read me wrong

my masked emotions are prolonged

i see my future dark and bleak, i close my eyes

and pray for sleep 

where dreams are scars that i can't keep

where visions die and dreams are caught 

by the wealthy hands of a greedy lot

who need no more and take no less

to my disease they won't confess

i live for night, for lucid slumber

when i'm free from fear 

and life's disorder

dickie gonzo

Phantom Memories

Written By:  Lila Star

So it’s never official

It’s never really there

Once the mind moved

Once I let it all go

It’s not the same

Indifference Isn’t a state of mind

Cannot be helped       

Cannot Be Fixed

Just overlooked

And a new way of life ensues

Until you truly understand me

Those memories that I love

Are only a phantom of us

Hold onto my ghost

My time stunted soul is yours.

Enjoy More Writing from Lila Star at:  


Delirium